I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
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Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize