How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
