i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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