I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
