Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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