he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
