i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
