the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
