i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
