used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
