You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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