so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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