he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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