We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
