Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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