Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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