did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize