Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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