I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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