...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".