Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
porn star boner night. come get it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!