Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.