its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.