Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
