used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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