No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
