I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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