I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I need water and some morals
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
