Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
