I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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