AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
