he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
