what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
