Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
ttyl tear gas
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
