i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You are the jesus of drinking
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
