I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Say something about gay babies.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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