last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.