Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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