Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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