I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
