would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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