standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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