I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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