all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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