i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
