dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
