Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
