Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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