Buhtt sex?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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