in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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