I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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