my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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