First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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