he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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