Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
