I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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