just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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