so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Best friends brother. Beat that.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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